I have ruminated over how best to tell this tale , how to write it down.....how best to convey the pain i went through ......how best to educate other women - young or old , mothers or not, married or single but as always i'll let my thoughts guide me but its not like i'm blogging about some fun sexual experience so i'm aware of the fact that i must try not to bore you guys.
I wasnt sure if to write it in parts...like a diary or memoir of sorts or just edit everything into a single story but i'm just going to write as i remember. Couple of months back i found out that i'm able to block out unpleasant memories,so to forestall that i had written some parts of my this story as they happened.
On Feb 13th 2011, i woke up with a terrible pain. It felt like i wanted to pee,someone was squeezing my bladder and i had running stomach all at once.i used tetracycline (self medication i know) but it provided some sort of relief. i wasnt going to let down my friends, Jibola and Emem so i got dressed and headed out to Swe for the Valentine show. I dont think i spent up to 3hrs at Swe bar,i laughed a lot...screamed...danced...fooled around....but i was in immense pain..i snuck out of there because i knew there was no way Emem would have let me go.
The Discovery
Feb 14th 2011. Monday morning came with its usual madness. I got ready for work,pain was still there but after the drugs,it felt a bit better. I got to work and didnt eat on time....and then the pain started.....oh My goodness!! i couldnt function properly...it was as if it was doubled. i told my colleague and she jokingly said 'Maybe you have fibroid!'. being the hypochondriac that i am........i went online and googled the symptoms of Fibroid.......... and there they were, staring at me in the face.....
· Pelvic pain and pressure
· urinary incontinence and frequency
· heavy menstrual bleeding
· Constipation or bloating
· Pain during sexual intercourse
· Reproductive Dysfunction - infertility,miscariages, premature labor, and complications of labor.
· Lower back pain
Ahem...lemme just say clearly and boldly here that i have shown (and as at that time was still showing) 5 out of these 7 symptoms and i have been experiencing each one for years.....so excuse me for bolting out of my office to the nearest decent hospital i could find on Google - Marien Hospital.
The Diagnosis
I guess somehow i knew i had fibroid but i didnt want to believe it. i saw the doctor and he examined my tummy (hes cute by the way but very married....*rme*) After touching my lower abdomen, he was like 'thats unusually hard.....i'm going to recommend an ultra sound scan right now. just take this card with you and ask them to give you an ultra sound asap'
I couldnt even argue. i swallowed hard and humbly walked out of there afraid that my fears are about to be confirmed.
Got to the lab, paid for the scan and waited for my turn. in those moments,it occured to me how lonely my life was. I knew so many people yet here i was sitting alone about to take one of the scariest tests of my life and there was no one to show that fear to. i shed a tear or maybe two....and i was called in.
i was told to lie down and the gel thingy was rubbed over my belly and the images came alive on the screen......i saw what looked like a child....i exclaimed 'whats that? i'm not pregnant! why do i have a child in me?'
the lab guy replied and said 'no you're not! thats the fibroid'.
still confused,i said 'no that looks like a baby'
(i guess i'd rather be pregnant)
He sighed and said ' its the fibroid. but take the result back to your doctor. he/she will know what to do and 'tell' you'.
i waited outside for my result and i cried. then i called my dad. being the logical man that he is, he said
'why are you crying? have you seen your doctor? whats the next step?. stop crying and ask these questions,Bimbola. Crying has never solved anything otherwise the genocide in Rwanda would have stopped at the first blood shed'.
'why are you crying? have you seen your doctor? whats the next step?. stop crying and ask these questions,Bimbola. Crying has never solved anything otherwise the genocide in Rwanda would have stopped at the first blood shed'.
So i 'manned' up, collected my result and took it back to the hospital.
The doctor had left by the time i got back to the hospital. i dropped my result and was asked to come see the 'PROF' the following day.
The Journey To Recovery
H.S.G?
Came to see Prof (Professor Ogedengbe) the following day and after waiting for a while i was called in. The minute i saw her, i became less scared.
Shes a diminutive woman who has had years and years of experience. She knew her job and all these i got just from her saying 'Hello my dear! sit down...lets sort out this fibroid business'
Shes a diminutive woman who has had years and years of experience. She knew her job and all these i got just from her saying 'Hello my dear! sit down...lets sort out this fibroid business'
It was such a relief to speak with her. She reassured me that everything would be fine as i bombarded her with questions flooding my phone from my sister, Biola (shes a nurse as well but shes American and you know how freaked out about everything those yankees can get!!)
Prof examined me and recommended an HSG test. 'HSG?....that cant be bad...i'll just go after work tomorrow' ......... i should have just asked biola..shes the medical person in the family...i swear i should have.......
****The following was written immeadiately after my HSG test. i havent edited it..i just copied and pasted. i wrote it when the pain was fresh because i knew writing about the pain weeks after wouldnt capture what it was that i went through so forgive the typos,i was typing through tears:
Today I experienced the worst pain of my life. After my scan on 14th Feb 2011 where it was confirmed that I had uterine fibroid,my doctor,Prof Ogedengbe asked that I do an HSG test. The test apparently is an x-ray to show where my fallopian tubes and all is so they can be sure where to cut during my surgery. According to Prof,its just an insertion into my vagina and they'd take snapshots.
How bad can that be?
I closed early from work to go for my test. Got there,paid the 10grand and after a lot of convinving that I wasn't pregnant,the test commenced.
I was asked to take off my pants and lie on the table and set my vay-jay-jay right under the light.
Then the most gruesome 20mins of my life started.
She inserted what felt like metal into me and I felt that isn't bad. Then she thrust it in even further....then the first pain gripped....I screamed and she was like...don't worry,just relax and do as I say and it'd be over soon.
I thot that was it....the camera was gon roam around my womb and take pictures and it'd be all over in a heartbeat.
I was so wrong.
The metal opened up sideways in my womb and I screamed....I called on God to help me. It was a lot of pain,I didn't do anything to deserve it. Then while the metal was in,she turned it around to get a better view,I looked around for something to hold on to but I was alone....even the walls stared back at me. She asked me to open my mouth and it felt like a hundred pins in my tummy......breathe in she said....and I went blind from the pain........breathe out.........and everything went blank......I could only hear her voice screaming......just do everything I ask u to do and u'll be fine"........
She left the metal in me and went out......'Hold your breath'.....the flashlight went off.
She came back in.......took a giant syringe and stuck it in......
She repeated this process like twice and I begged her......I was in so much pain.
I kept asking 'are we done? But she just kept repeating the instructions......'Open your mouth'
'Breathe in'
'Breathe out'
Hold your breathe'
After that I simply gave up.....I was too weak to scream......
She came back n said...'Oya stand up and clean yourself up'
I tried to get up but the blood came gushing out....there was blood everywhere......
I struggled to get up....my shirt was stained heavily at the back........and it felt like it was my period all over again........
I cleaned up....got up and started to change.......
'Go hime,take a shower,drink something warm and take some panadol.....'
'So do I have it?...' I said in reference to the fibroid.
'This was just an investigation/probing to locate ur fallopian tubes and ovaries so your doctor would know where to cut during the surgery' she replied.
I sat back........and thot to myself......'What have I gotten myself into?'
'I have fibroid'
'I have fibroid'
'I have fibroid'
I walked out of the diagnostic centre like a zombie.....
Hailed a cab and cried all the way home.
And this is just Day 3.
The Elusive Period
Surgery was scheduled for the 16th of March 2011 which was technically about 10 days after my last period. Doctors wanted to rule out any chance of pregnancy before operating.
And then the period refused to come.
Its funny now but it wasnt then!! i knew for a fact that i wasnt pregnant cos one would have to have sex before you can get pregnant right? ehn...so i wasnt getting any. And then the wait began..i started counting down days ...until it was 16th March and the stupid period still wasnt here!! Frustrated, i marched to the hospital to tell them the surgery needs to be rescheduled for April seeing as this period is taking its bloody time ...pun so intended!!
Prof asked me all the usual questions....'have you had sex in the last 2months?'
Errr...'No Doc!'
'Let me put it this way.....between the last time you saw me and now,have you had sexual intercourse?'
(i understood the question the first time doc! whats ur problem?)
' No i havent!'. i replied.
'hmmmm.......i'm still going to recommend a pregnancy test for you just to be safe and sure'
Sigh!! 'Maybe this woman knew something i didnt! i touched my boobs 'are they bigger?'...'whats she seeing that i'm not?' and since when did my words mean jack?!!
'ok. but i'm not preggers!'
I took the test and no! i wasnt pregnant......i went back to see her to triumphantly say 'I TOLD YOU SO!'
She looked at me and said ' thats good!! Now we can operate!'
'Huh?'
'Yeah. i was just trying to rule out any chances of you being pregnant. so i think i'm free for next week wednesday....23rd March.....you'll check in on the 22nd'.
'Errr..okay ma'........shit!! i thought! this is happening!
You see...because i was afraid of the surgery but wouldnt admit it,it seemed as if my body also shut down the period.....
I went back to work to file the necessary papers. Got home that nite and my period started. Sigh!!
The Surgery
Tuesday 22nd March 2011,i woke up said my prayers and started to pack.
I got ready and got a cab, went to the bank,withdrew money and came to the hospital. Deposited cash, dropped my luggage and went to my hairdresser's.......removed my weave-on and asked her to make Diidi (traditional weave) for me..if i was going to be pain, i didnt want my weaveon standing in the way.
Got back to the hospital and they took my blood to check my PCV level and of course for HIV test.
i went up to my room and i slept.
Around 6pm,they brought me food and asked me to eat cos i cant eat after 10pm and for the next 2 or 3 days. I ate and went back to sleep.
At around 10pm,the nurse came in looking as grim as ever and with a blade in her hand, she said 'please lie down,i've come to shave you'...
No you havent!! i said , ' No i have shaved..see? thank you!'
I dont know if its just me but she looked dissapointed.... she insisted and shaved off my bikini line still.
My big sis, came in the morning before the surgery and then around 830am,the nurse came in and said 'its time'.
She helped me remove my clothes, jewellery and helped me change into the green overall.
Then i panicked.
What if i die? what if NEPA takes light during surgery? what if Prof suddenly collapses during surgery? what if they find something else wrong with me when they open me up? what if i get infected? what if they forget a tool inside of me? what if i die?
The nurse touched my arm and said......'it will be well. Dont worry. God is in charge'.
i stepped into the OR and the doctors started coming in one at a time. They gave me drip and they were all quite chatty, friendly (i knew it was all in a bid to calm my nerves but i was grateful for it)
The anaesthetist told me to sit up that he was about to inject my spine...at this point i was too weak for words cos it occurred to me that this was happening.
He injected my spine and my lower body started to feel heavy. i laid down and he whispered ' its 10.10am...the surgery has started'.
i felt the Prof cut into me but i didnt feel a thing. My feet started to itch and i tried to move it yet nothing happened. i started to freak out. i begged them to put me to sleep. i couldn’t take it anymore. they agreed.
An hour,ten minutes later...i woke up and saw my sister. and then my dad...then my stepmom called...then my sister...then my brother......then the doctors came into my room.........I MADE IT..........I'M NOT DEAD! i said to myself.
***dont mean to gross you out but this is what a fibroid looks like! HAVE YOURSELF CHECKED OUT TODAY PLEASE!!!!
4 days after surgery,I had the catherter stuck in me for 48hrs....but thats a story for another day , right now i'm just grateful to be alive!!