Bayelsa Blues Pt 2

I walked into my hostel and i thot i was in the storage or something cos i seriously did not want to believe the mad house i just walked into was gon be my place of abode for 21 days!! Holy mother of God!! there must ave been at least 50 bunks in there or so i delusionally thot!! Alas!! i joke! i found my number which was 015,luckily it was the last on my side so i had some privacy as far as conducting ur business within a one inch radius goes. i turned about to check the last number on the bunk opposite,thinking it would be 30 or something,i winced when i saw the number,i honestly thot my short-sightedness had kicked in again!i wore my glasses and the numbers stubbornly stared right back at me-134!!!

FUCK ME AND A BAG OF CHIPS! I HAD 133 ROOM-MATES!!

Not that i'm xenophobic or anything but c'mon! that tiny path you see is the one everyone squeezes thru every morning on the way to the bathroom,now that is another story entirely. whats even more annoying is about half of these girls either have cheap boyfriends or cheap toasters cos their phones go ballistic at night-yeah! fucking midnight calls! and wats sad is none of them has got phone manners in check so they talk like its 12noon on a sunday and they at the park for a picnic when really its 2am in the room in a room with other ppl. did i forget to mention that the bloody soldiers wake us up at 4am?!!!

notice anything bout the head rest? yup! bags! we used our bags or dirty clothes as pillows cos we were not given any!

notice how shes squeezing thru ? hunmph! everday we squeezed thru like that and i'm not exactly anorexic!!

Bayelsa Blues Pt 1

I made it! I went to Bayelsa state and i'm back and boy! do i ave srories or what? I must confess after the first few days,i wanted to go home but i'm glad i stayed;i think i'm a better person cos of this scheme. yeah i know it sounds funny but at the end of it all,i did enjoy camp tho i fought that feeling but i guess if u cant beat them,u join them right?!!

My first "issue" with the whole trip probably started from when i heard it was gon cost 50grand to purchase a return ticket from and to Port-Harcourt which is the nearest sane city to bayelsa, there was no way i was gon to pay half of a 100,000naira to travel for just about one hour!! So i found what seemed like a cheaper alternative at first until i realised(when it was too late)that it wasnt!After "plenty" consultation with travellers of note,i decided to go thru Owerri,i was told by these confused pple that Owerri is "jjust" bout two hrs away from bayelsa.weelllll.......it is if u were flying in and out of the gutters otherwise known as potholes on the road,Jesus Christ!it took about 4 bloody hours,it did!!!

I got to camp around 1830hrs and i was feeling quite happy with and for me,thinking i had beat the rush by arriving on the day camp opened and i was definitely gon be amongst the first hundred! humph!delusional i was!well,i didnt realise this until i was asked to register or sign in or something along the lines of putting my name down and then i saw my serial number which at time was 1015!!! first reaction------the government should make sure parents let their children/wards sleep! what the ........?! Very quickly,my brisk steps probably brought on by my excitement turned into a trudge,i suddenly didnt feel like being with so many young pple!!! i wrote my name and "trudged" to my hostel after collecting my mat otherwise called mattress(note-not that i'm "funkifying" the word mattress,its just that what they gave us probably was known as mattress when it was first bought,but as at the time when i dragged it into block D,it had metamorphosed into a mat,i think some mats are actually better than what i slept on for three weeks!!)

Into block D i walked and therein was my no.1 greatest shocker for the duration of the orientation camp!!!