Is contentment the over-ambitious man's equivalent of mediocrity?

When I was 20...which was like 9 years ago,i had a conversation with myself and set some rules/objectives for myself! I said to me if my love life was still shitty by the time i hit the big 30,i'd adopt and i'd only adopt because assuredly i'd be able to pay my unborn child's school fees and all what not,i'd have a great job..one that i loved and a good apartment and at least a good car.

Thing is i'm almost 30,will be 30 next year.i work for myself in an industry that believes paying your dues is the same thing as working tirelessly while kissing all the asses along the way without getting paid for it so yeah,i work very hard but i'm broke. Love life is ....yeah u guessed it....still shittty,which only means one thing...i cant have nor adopt a child cos i cant take care of myself not to talk of a child who cant tell you what he/she wants till shes  spent about 3yrs on earth!!

So heres the thing...i'm not a worrier hence my confidence that i might not die from hypertension but sometimes these things do get to you. The pressure mounting from family bout your age as if you've lost track of time and you dont even realise your own age.......the pressure from your married friends and the constant e-invites for weddings from friends on Facebook! You might stay strong and smile but in the end,it does get to you cos nobody likes to be lonely (i like to be alone but not lonely sha!) so in the face of all these,u still have to work and get paid and look nice.

I'm not going to dwell on this issue..like a friend,Bez,once told me,'maybe you should use another yardstick for ur goals' and thats exactly what i'm going to do! Everywhere i turn i see my friends who were blushing brides at the time of getting married but are now these empty shells just existing!! I see their husbands shamelessly cheating on them and in no time ,the marriages are over even before it started.

I see 35yr olds who are jobless and holding on to the last shred of hope that life's got to offer. I see people struggling to eat daily. I see women whose monthly spending money is what i blow in less than a week!

I am grateful for my life but in the light of this,i can only ask God to continually show me what my life would be like if i didnt use the opportunities i was given properly!

I might not have a BMW 5 series but i know how to drive and i have a car to drive.

I might not have my own rented apartment,but i have a roof over my head.

I might not have the latest shoes or clothes or even fashionably correct but i'm not without!

I might not have a man to call my own in the real sense  of it,but i am happy and my decisions are so far not based on the presence nor absence of a man in it!

Though,some very competitive people would say one should aspire for more,compare yourself to the successful people they might say!......even i have said it to me several times but at the end of the day,the question always still remains 'Is contentment now mediocrity?'

Lord help me to understand and know the difference.

I am a very competitive person and always want more...to achieve better than the next person. To be better than the guy next to me but now my prayer is for God to grant me the ability to know when to stop.

Maybe some of us are meant to excel at something more than the other (s). Marriage instead of a career1 Career instead of your marriage! Singledom instead of marriage! Alone instead of lonely!

I compare myself to those i think i'm better than or my situation is better than because it makes me appreciate my current situation and do everything not to lose the opportunity i've been given - the chance to make it all better.

I compare my life's situation not because its a mediocre thing to do to use people you are more fortunate than as yardstick...but because it helps me reflect and appreciate how far i've come.