Saturday, September 18, 2010

Papa And Mama Philo And Dbanj's New Single - Scapegoat.

Papa n Mama Philo live in Mafoluku with their daughter,Philo and her 5330 Nokia.Papa Philo
owns a transistor radio he's very proud of.He likes to listen to Matse and Yaw on Wazobia Fm
with wife before they start d day n at d end of work.Papa Philo is an okada rider while Mama
Philo sells Plantain by Bolade,Oshodi.


Philo is an S.S2 student @ bolade Comp High Sch n goes 2 join her mother every afternoon 2
sell plantain (they are even thinking of reinventing- selling Boli - see Philo is industrious!)
Papa Philo though with no money,loves Mama Philo very much. One day,he goes to drop off Emeka at his CD/DVD shop and blaring from his larger than life stereo was 'Scapegoat' .


"Which song be that,Mekus?' He asked. Emeka replies 'its the new Dbanj song o! Scapugooati' u like am? E sweet o!' Papa Philo excitedly replied ' E sweet! I fit dance to ds one! E no b like all dose other ones Philo dey always play for im phone,I no dey hear wetin dem talk' this one be like dt type wey dem dey play for abraka tht time'. Emeka answers 'Na so! Come dey go abeg! Day jus break'


He leaves Emeka's shop and gets on his motorcycle,humming 'I will be your scapegoat o...
Honey'. After a long hard day at the bustop in Isolo,Papa Philo starts to make his way home,stops over to give his 'deliver' money to Charles,the bike owner. By the time he gets home,he's totally fagged out. Mama Philo and Philo are waiting outside,talking,waiting,sighing.


See,papa Philo had come in later than usual and philo n her mother were worried. Seeing her husband trudge into their compound,she ran to get him water,proceeded to place a bucket of water in the communal bathroom. By the time he got out of the shower,a hot plate of garri with okro (tho the meat was absent) was waiting for him. He devoured the garri in record time and soon as he washed his hands,he hit the bed.


Next morning,Mama Philo was not very happy. She had things on her mind she wanted to
discuss n by sunrise,she was grumbling a lot. Philo went in to talk to her dad. 'Papa,wetin dey do mama?' 'I no know o my daughter but make I go check my sweet potato'. He goes outside to find Mama Philo huddled in one corner. 'Mama Philomena,wetin happen?' Mama Philo looks up,brows furrowed 'no ask me kweshan! U don start abi? All dose girls wey sell oranges for bus stop don start again abi? Me I no gree o! Where u go last nite wey u tire like that??' 'U no even fit follow me talk?' Na so abi? Common N50 I no make for that junction,u sef no too bring money come house and we have to pay Philo's school fees' 'u no talk that wan?' All ur girlfriends don collect ya money finish abi? Anuofia!' She hissed and turned back to face the wall.




Papa Philo sighed instead of the usual anger and ensuing fights. He sighed and walked away.He was tired...mentally and physically. He got into the room to find Philo dressed and ready for school but she was 'pressing' her phone whule fiddling with his transistor radio. He screamed at her 'My friend u no go comot go school before I show ur face how many lines my palm has??' 'I go soon collect that phone for ya hand na' Gif me mai radio my friend! U think say na small money I take buy am?! Nonsense!'


Philo made one last attempt at getting the frequency right. She scurried to one corner of the room and continued thumbing away at her phone. Her father at this point ,is surprised to find that she's still 'pressing' the phone. 'Philomena! Wetin u dey do for that phone wey u no wan go school?' 


She made to reply just as Yaw's voice came on the radio 'this 95.1,wazobia fm...how una dey!?' 'Una sleep well!?' 'U say? Some of una still dey sleep? Make we pour them water?'


Papa Philo relaxed a bit and sat on the bed,still not getting what she's doing on the phone.


Yaw's voice could still be heard on the radio ' Una don hear Dbanj's new music ? He call ds one 'ScapeGoat'. Anyone wey fit tell me the name of him last song ,go win something this morning!   ....haha! We have a caller .....'Hello,who be dis?'


Philo : My name na Philo!


Papa Philo : No be you be that? Na wazobia u bn dey call so? Na ur voice be that for radio?
HeheeEe!! Mama Philo come o ...he screamed. Our pikin dey talk for radio. He rushes out to get Mama Philo.


Philo: Yaw abeg play me that scape goat music. I like am well well. Play am for my bobo,
Sylvanus,,e dey Laspotech. The name of him last song na Endowed.


Yaw : u don win be that! I go play am for you and Sylva. This Scapegoat is for Philo and
Sylvanus! Make una enjoy!


Papa and Mama Philo ran into the room just as Scapegoat starts to play on the radio. Philo
runs out of the room to head to school. Mama Philo turns around to leave the room just as
Papa Philo grabs her arm and swings her around....singing ''I will be your scapegoat o,honey,cos u came tru for me.U gave me breaktru baby'


***Bear in mind that baba philo the 'okada man' is not on notjustok.com or sturvs.com,he just wants to sing the song to Mama Philo his wife,the plantain seller and Philo their daughter will call wazobia FM again to request the song. The marketing manager of Star/Coca cola/Tomtom/baba blue will do a survey but nt amongst the 16% internet users but the Mama and Papa Philos of this country to find out if they wanna hear the song live from the dbanj at their next event. Dbanj gets a call and gets a cheque of 4M for singing 'Scape goat'!!


Still wanna go on about the song? Its a silly song. Enjoy it. Why so serious?


Listen to the song here:
ScapeGoat - Dbanj

14 comments:

Jayla said...

iLike

Afrobooboo said...

LOL!!! Seen. Now I know who his target audience is. Goes to xplain y I haven't been able to understand/enjoy/replay the song. *now sticking to fall in love that was made for everybody* :p

Sisem E. Naidem said...

Nice one B! I really enjoyed reading it. Hilarious yet very realistic, you painted a portrait of many low-income households who make up the vast majority of Nigerians.
Some serious food for thought there esp where it concerns survey demographics. Keep it up!
Oh, and by the way when Philo returns she'll still have to explain to her parents who Sylvanus is...

Eknoreda said...

hahahaha! you have a point tho'. A lot of people are going to be playing this song at weddings soon too. It has a high life kinda flow to it. I guess we all know his target audience. :D

Unknown said...

I love rock songs, I love science fiction movies, I love video games and I'm a nigerian meaning I also like big booty hotties and dbanj's "igwe" song which is more down to earth than "scapegoat"
I think baba philo and the rest of his demographic would appreciate it more if the lyrics were in a native dialect or better yet pigin…totally my opinion. I think the lyrics being in English and the word scapegoat generally know to be negative to baba philo and his demographic could be out them off.
Regardless of all I've said, I'm sure the song will be a hit, not coz of baba philo and his demographic but because of massive airplay the song would get.
Scapegoat is not the first catchy song released by mohits, it being question would suggest a problem…no?

Totally my opinion…

Unknown said...

Pls ignore the typos, BB storm typing woes *face palm*

Dro Ameh said...

hilarious.

ayotunde said...

Lol! True talk! Besides he is called d koko master what kind of music do they really want from him, if u reli want sensible music go buy a Maxwell cd or better still get an inspirational audio book and beg Don jazzy for a beat for it.

Anonymous said...

I totally like!!! Bt Philo go gast explain to her papa who Slyva b o...lol..
Nice one Bims...*in martin Lawrences' voice* 'U go girL'

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain Ossai! *sigh*

Yes Bims.

You already know what I think but I'll just say it all the same.

This lil piece is just an extension of your person - smart, insightful & funny.

Most people were quick to jump into the assumption that Dapo had fallen from 'grace,' forgetting that not all songs are for everyone.

x


Phoenix.

SapphireChic said...

Thanks for all the lovely comments guys! @Nono yes u know d demographics but do u wanna play back 'fall in love' and listen to the lyrics? Its just as unserious! His music has always gone frm bottom to the top of the demographics. Another case in point wld be Funke akindele's Jenifa. Twasnt meant for the elite,it caused so much ripples with low income earners,it found its way to the elite n d returnees. Vox populi,vox dei! The voice of the masses constantly ensures Dbanj and his ilk remain commercial successes. Will u be my scapegoat? Hehehe!! Ikid!

Afrobooboo said...

Lol! My issues aren't w/ th lyrics @ all. I swear I can't even understand th instrumental. Nw wake me up @ any point be it during torture n I will humm out vry little instrument that was used on th instrumental for fall in luv(that's if the person torturing me allows me to live that long lol). Anyhoos, now I'm waiting for pipl to play th song continually. If I still don't get th song then it just isn't for me. We win some, lose some ehhh?

Dele said...

First time i am reading your blog. I love it. You sure did a great job with the pidgen english and portrayal of all the characters.
Especially loved how you tied it to Scape goat.
You fit write for nollywood o...LOL

Ms Jade said...

SapphireChic has killed me with laughter..
brilliant one..